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Anorexia Treatment Center last Christmas, Recovery this year
I do care about everyone this holiday, but my heart wants to grab and hold tight every Ed sufferer and their family and friends.
Holidays are difficult for me as they are for most everyone I have ever talked to. Who really enjoys them?
Last year was the worst.  My child was across the country in a Recovery Center after years of Anorexia, most of them secret. I was hitting my limit as a mother. Being tough, yes, I am supposed to be, but it wasn’t happening. She wasn’t really showing real recovery, I was at my wit’s end and I shut down for the rest of family, husband, another son and daughter, and 6 grandchildren.
This year my child is in a real Recovery (for about 6 months and the best and longest she had every been in), working, has an apartment, dog, living independently and is happy – but still across the country. We won’t be together this Christmas.
I am still in Recovery. I am frightened that any minute I will get the call that it has all fallen apart, that Ed is back and taking over her life. But that is me, not her. I have to be able to get rid of these feelings. I will do better with the family this holiday, but that is all I can promise, better.
Please families, you are not alone. You suffer too. You suffer more at holidays. We are all on the same team. I wish you health, happiness, love and especially Recovery for your loved one.  I am eternally sorry and unhappy if you have lost a loved one to an Eating Disorder. I love you.
To all Ed sufferers, I wish you health, happiness, love, and especially Recovery. I love you.
A special love goes out to Rachel, the mother that I am coaching. She had pancakes for breakfast, made by her loving husband, and she kept them down. After 15 years of an eating disorder and therapy, she has real hope this holiday that she can recover.
Anorexia Treatment Center last Christmas, Recovery this year
© Karen Barber - Dancing with the Mountain
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