I hate Ed – Anorexia and all Eating Disorders

‎((((((((HUG))))))))

As a mother of a recovering ED patient, I say AMEN!!!! You expressed the anger and fury I feel every day and struggle every day to suppress. Thank you for saying what we all feel.

I get it Karen.  So totally. AND hating will cause you pain I know this. Find little things to be grateful for. Get angry and spew out your anger in a safe respectful way and let yourself cry.  My friend who was dying of cancer gave me the best advice.  Cry. I went and sat in the shower and cried for 30 mins( after yelling at God for “letting” this happen) and then I felt better. Find a friend who will hold you while you cry. Then be gentle with yourself and find things to be grateful for. I hope this helps.

Karen Barber  says Thank you.  I am tough as nails when it comes to taking care of my family and getting things done.  I am moved to tears (just now) when people are kind to me.  Families often suffer in silence because of the support given to the suffferer, but this pain should not be ignored or silenced or it will make the problem even bigger.  Thank you for your kindness.  Love Karen

Karen Barber says I have been lucky to have my husband.  Although the husband and step-father, he has been the Rock of our family.  He has been in pain, but taken care of all of us with kindness and dignity, taking care of details, watching and holding back, making us laugh and love and remember that we still have each other and the family.  The most kind and supportive man I have ever known in my life and I do not think that our child would be in Recovery know if it had not been for him and his care and love for us.   He has suffered alot and silently for us.  I am lucky.  I wish everyone that kind of support. Karen

I so feel your pain Karen.  Ed has reeked havoc on our family for 4 years now, and I’m still in disbelief of how our lives have been changed and shaped because of ED.  My hubby asked what I wanted for Christmas, and I said, “the same thing I have asked for the last 3 Christmas holidays.”  A normal family.  Something tells me that it’s out of reach this year as well.  Life does go on, but everyday is like starting out with a heart attack.  If you do the right things, you will have a full recovery.  What a sick joke that is.

Thank you Karen for so honestly sharing your painful emotions.  As we can all see, we are not alone, that in itself can be comforting.  Expressing our anger in a healthy way is vital to our well-being.  Many of my clients find that writing it out, shouting it out (either alone or with a trusted person or therapist) helps so much to say the things that are in our hearts.  Then doing the grieving process while getting that oxygen mask FIRMLY in place.  As moms who are trying to save our children’s lives from these horrible illnesses we can feel guilty doing things for ourselves.  But it is essential to practice EXTREME SELF-CARE so that we are able to support these sick kids. We need to be ”tough as nails” about our self-care as well.  It isn’t selfish, it is the same as the oxygen mask deal on the plane…we can’t help our kids if we’re wiped out.  Figuring out how to do all of this, venting, grieving, self-care and living life in general is no easy assignment.  I’m glad to hear about laughing – that is so healing.  I wish each of you peace and healing.  I love the kindness, respect and support here as we all learn to live with this new “normal” that this unwelcome bully/ed has brought to our lives.  I think I will blog about the anger as this is so common for it to come up this time of year and we can feel so overwhelmed by the anger and yet anger brings about change and can bring about healing. I wish I could give each of you a big hug in real life for now I like how you did that virtually.

‎

“extreme self-care” — I love it!December 19, 2011 at 1:58pm  

I have found that when I don’t know what to say, the hug thing works really well. Not to mention, all of us that have walked or are walking this road, know exactly what she is talking about. Hugs help us all to not feel so alone.

 ‎(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

 

I’m here.December 19, 2011 at 4:05pm

A hug from me too and a heartfelt wish that it will soon get better. December 19, 2011 at 4:13pm

There is hope to distroy him, I nearly died from anorexia but it has been 14 years and I have been free of ED!!!   if you want to know more about me you are welcome to my site, hugs and suport going your way =0)

i feel the same way! Drop dead ED!

ED the deceiver.  ED the taker.  ED the killer!  He was my “friend” for a long time, and still wants to hang out with me occasionally. No way!  Losing ED is the hardest thing anyone will ever do, and also the best thing anyone will ever do.  Yes, VENT VENT VENT! Recovery is possible – very, very possible. xx

well said – and what it has done to siblings/family!